Loss of focus is a high price to pay for some sex.
A letter from a guy . . .
“Please tell people to wait to have sex, because the pleasure is not worth the pain. We were going to be different. We loved each other. We were mature. We even used birth control. She got pregnant, and now we’re married, and I’m only seventeen. I’m working, trying to get my GED, be a husband, and be a father. How can I be a father? I still want to be a kid. I don’t even think I love her, and now it’s for the rest of
my life. I sometimes wonder what God could have done
with my life.”1
Ok, so this guy is hurting. It is admirable that he is trying to take responsibility for his actions, but he is probably flipping burgers at BK and facing the reality that he has had to set aside his future plans and goals so he can pay for those diapers . . . tough place to be. Guys, most of you are probably starting to think some about what you might like to do with your lives. If you aren’t, maybe you should start that process.
Even if you don’t get a girl pregnant, focusing on having sexual relationships now can really distract you from your future plans and goals. Look around at how many guys are getting off course because they are getting wrapped up in the pursuit of immediate gratification . . . chasing boobs and the party life. Is there some pleasure in that lifestyle of going after sex now? Yes, there is. But there are also a lot of painful consequences. Remember, sex is good, but also powerful like a fire. Very few guys can stay focused on answering the key questions of “Who am I?” and “What do I want to do with my life?” while also running after sex with the girls. That is why our culture is filled with young men in their mid-twenties who haven’t grown up yet, and are still living in momma’s basement, with their Maxim magazine and six pack of beer, thinking they are the man because they pay for their own cell phone . . . lame!
A focused life now, young man, where you make the strong choice to postpone sex until marriage, will pay off big time for the rest of your life. A flood light can light a back yard, but a laser can cut through steel . . . focus is quite powerful! Your job now is to get focused on who you are and what you would love to do . . . then go after it!
1.Speck, Greg. Sex: It’s Worth Waiting For. Chicago: Moody Press, 1989. Used with permission.